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The Alternative Dictionary of Life
You may find that some of these words have long definitions! If you simply can't be bothered reading A-Z, Dance Shit and Scallies are the good ones. Have fun! Ally xx
 
Thank you Phyco Dolly for helping me out with Scallies!

  • Alternative - (adjective)

    Not Mainstream. Yes I know what you're thinking, Alternative is a mainstream all of its own....you'd be right.  That doesnt really matter tho, does it? cos if you wanna say you are unique, and not like everyone else, you will, whether you are or not!

    And lets face it, you're sooo alternative, JUST LIKE ALL YOU'RE FRIENDS! heheheheeee

  • Bollox - (noun) I word that I think is funny!

  • Dance Shit - (Noun) (this is long, but worth reading)

    A "Type of music" much loved by Trendies :-S

    Dance Shit is not actually music.  In fact, it is rare if it has seen an instrument except for a keyboard.If it has a vocalist, then the vocalist is not the person credited with the track, the person who gets all the money is the balding old guy who sits in his room on his computer all day, distorting synthesised sound...

    If the song has lyrics, it isn't likely to be anything more than a few words repeated over and over again.  I suspect this is because the GCSE dropouts (sorry everyone) who sing it can't remember more than eight words at a time.  The lyrics are ususlly meaningless, like "You've gotta turn around!"  repeated thirty or fourty times for example.

    Dance Shit usualy has a beat, which goes through the whole thing, which is the only reason you can dance to it.  If you asked the people who made it what it's about, they'd come up with some bullshit about some emtion or something.  Dance Shit has NO emotional content at all...(not even a bit!).  When you watch a band perform live, pouring with sweat, you can see that effort and emotion goes into their music.  Dance shit artists usually stand behind a DJ booth and just play a recording of their music. Silly, stupid, shittering..shit..! Oh,the alliteration!

  • Extasy -

    (Noun)

    A mind altering drug, which alters the way neural signals pass, which has the effect of making you feel more confident, and giving you energy to dance harder (not that i know, dolly just told me)  This extra effort requires more water, but in your mind latered state you are likely to drink too much, which overloads your kidneys, causing Kidney failure and death.

    One of the drugs more associated with Trendy clubs, not Rock clubs (!!) extasy is becoming more of a problem.  Fortunately, bouncers at Jillys Rockworld in Manchester are pioneering a technique to prevent Ecstasy being sold on the premises;  Putting the dealers in hospital (owch).  Such tactics appear to work, as they've all recovered, and moved out of Manchester... to Liverpool. Haha, what an clever idea. Go sexy bouncers!

    Ecstasy is actually unneccesary, as the same effect can be got from drinking shooters, caffien rich drink, and eating Pringles! (once you pop you just can' stop)

    One of the few drugs I am extremely against, due to the fact that the simple mention of the drug makes some people crave it...(RAY)  This isn't addiction as such, but it is surely related, and is similar to how I act around alcohol...:-D

  • Fuck - (Verb) What Paul and I do too much of.

  • Goth - (noun)

    To a Scally:  Someone wearing black clothes, and make up.

    To a 12 year old Linkin Park fan: Someone who likes KoRn.

    To a goth: I'm not a goth!

    Really: A tribe of eastern european barbarians that sacked rome in the 4th century.  The name of an artistic style, associated with clothing, and architecture. (Thats what the dictionary says).

  • Hate - (Verb) The love that I have for scallies.

  • Sarah - (noun) The latin for princess. My tillymint.

  • Scally - (noun + Adjective)  (eg.  "A Scally".  "A Scally jacket".)

    Scallies (Plural) (eg. "The Scallies".)

    A person, usually of adolecsent age, who wears rockport shit, rebock etc..

    To look at, you'd think that Scallies were actually not human.  They dress, (or their mothers dress them, as the average age a Scally learns to pull his own trousers up is 24) In white trainers, and a tracksuit (trackie) which more than likely has the word "Reebok" on the front.

    Their socks will be pulled up over the bottom of their trousers too, making them look like a right dickhead.  That, and their inability to correctly pronounce any word in the english language correctly, means that when they try to mug you, it is hard to keep from laughing.

    The Scally is likely to, if male have a single stud earing, and if female, at least two of the most enormous hoops you've seen outside the national hula hoop championships in their ears!!

    See Zara from "Hollyoaks" or Kingsleys sister "Catherine".

    It has been proven that 99% of all non drug related crimes are comitted by Scallies! Yep! In fact, stealing our phones is only way they can afford their expensive shell suits and trainers!

If the scally is old enough to steal a car (12 or 13) then the ideal car is a ford Fiesta. However, if the scally has stolen enough mobile phones to afford his own car, it will be a Ford Escort, with a larger than normal exaust pipe, so it makes a louder noise, and a spoiler.  They will likely then spend all their time racing up and down in front of schools, hoping to pick up a young scally girl who likes their shitty car. Than they'll impregnate them, marry them in a registry office, and then spend all thier time improving their car sound system, or sleeping with other women...so I've heard.

A scally's view on sex is a dim one. The average scally looses his / her virginity at about the age of 6.  Or so you'd think from the way they talk. It's more likely that they never do, before they are put into a young offenders instituse, where the older inmates make them pick up the soap.  You know what comes next, and you're laughing at their misfortune aren't you?  :-)

The favoured pet of a Scally is a dog.  This is not only because it reminds the dickhead of their mother, and sisters, and girlfriend or whatever,but also because a dog actually has the strength to hurt someone seriously!!

If you are forced to hurt a Scally, don't wory.  They won't have a weapon dangerous enough to hurt you, and even if they did, they wouldn't know how to use it.   If you hurt them seriously, their older brother won't care, and even if he did, he's unlikely to find you again.  You don't need to worry about the police either, as they're more likely to reward you for delivering a wanted car thief / street mugger than arrest you! :-)

  • Tillymints (noun) - A word used by Mr Jones and Mrs Sumner to attract the attention of Alex and Sarah.

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